GHills · 2026 rookie draft
Thirty-six picks, a two-year pile of trades that moved them, and a class that went QB early because this is superflex and some of you finally remembered that. Inner Excellence sat at 1.01 and did the obvious thing well. Im Sorry Nix Jackson turned Josh Jacobs and Trevor Lawrence into two firsts and a rookie quarterback. Joe's Fucking Toe made four trades in a week and one of them was a move down for Jacoby Brissett. And Empire of Rebels, picking third by birthright, watched Fernando Mendoza go at his own slot to somebody else because he sold that pick a year ago for Javonte Williams. Grades are on one curve. Somebody had to fail. It was not close.
No. 1 of 12
Sold two old guys, bought two older guys, and somehow walked out with two first-round picks.
A-
mlev811 finished 3rd and then treated the offseason like a hostage negotiation where he held all the hostages. He sent Josh Jacobs and Trevor Lawrence to sparkhill and got back Derrick Henry, Matthew Stafford and the 1.12. Then he handed Joe's Fucking Toe a backup quarterback named Jacoby Brissett and moved from 1.10 up to 1.07 for it. That is a real trade that really happened. The haul: Ty Simpson at 1.07, Denzel Boston at 1.12, Chris Bell at 2.10 and Caleb Douglas at 3.10, a pick he shipped to Empire for Cade Otton and bought back for David Montgomery. Four rookies and a contender roster for the price of an aging RB1 and a QB who never lived up to it. The only catch is that Henry is 32 and Stafford is 38, so this window closes fast.
Best pick · Ty SimpsonA superflex quarterback at 1.07 for a roster already carrying Lamar Jackson and Bo Nix, acquired by paying Jacoby Brissett to move up three spots. Robbery with a receipt.
Worst pick · Caleb DouglasThe 3.10 traveled to Empire and back in 2024 and the round trip produced a Miami receiver nobody will remember by October. A pick that went through more than the player will.
Graded September 2, 2026 · 3 rounds, one curve. Grades are final; complaints go to the commissioner's spam folder.
