Separation Of Bowers

“Four silver medals, two last-place finishes, and one lucky 2022 — the most average 21 years ever chronicled.”

Twenty-one seasons, one title, and a résumé that reads like a man allergic to the top step. Four different runner-up finishes (2008, 2010, 2011, 2014) plus podiums in 2006 and 2015 — seven podiums, one ring. Then the 2016 and 2021 campaigns, both dead-last 12th, just to prove the floor exists. The 2022 breakthrough was real and nobody can take it away, which is convenient, because dynasty has taken everything else: 12-16 across two years, zero playoff bracket appearances, and a 0.400 career finish percentile that screams "pleasant houseguest."

2025: 6-8 Again, Because Consistency Is a Personality

Second verse, same as the first: 6-8, identical to 2024's 6-8, with 1,645.37 points — a full 47.65 fewer than the year before. The only progress was cosmetic, sliding from 9th place to 7th, which in a 12-team league means graduating from "bad" to "forgettable." The team is literally named after Brock Bowers and still couldn't score its way into the bracket, despite hoarding three tight ends, three quarterbacks, and seven running backs like a man preparing for a positional apocalypse that never came. The rivalry ledger is equally grim: 1-3 against Goffstown,USA, 1-2 against Come Backy Irving, 1-2 against Joe's Fucking Toe. The lone winning matchup, 2-1 over Rome wasntbuiltn Odunze, is the entire highlight reel. Two dynasty seasons, two 6-8 records, zero titles.