Results

Gibbs and Walker go for 69.45, Nubz leaves 54.49 on the bench, nobody covers themselves in glory

go0 got 1.95 from Ja'Marr Chase and 4.55 from George Pickens and won by 51.98 anyway, because Jahmyr Gibbs (32.85) and Kenneth Walker (36.60) turned this into a track meet by halftime. On the other side Bryce Young scored 34.44 and Mike Gesicki scored 20.05, both in street clothes, while Kenny Gainwell delivered 2.93 from the flex. Even the full 54.49 off the Nubz bench does not close a 51.98 gap once you subtract what he actually started, which is somehow the saddest math of the week.

132.30 would have beaten seven teams and instead ran straight into Derrick Henry

Derrick Henry 37.05, Lamar 27.96, Jefferson 27.70 and Montgomery 27.15 put mlev at 178.81 with Jalen Coker's 33.80 still stuck on the bench. Mimsy did nothing embarrassing outside of a Texans defense that scored negative one point and a rookie tight end who posted a clean 0.00 while Kyle Monangai's 23.65 gathered dust. 132.30 is a winning score in most weeks of most seasons. Not this one.

Preseason last place wins a game where the loser started two zeroes

Caleb Williams put up 37.26 and personally outscored Rob's entire four-man running back rotation, which mustered 18.12 between Dobbins, Pollard, Allen and Marks. That was still plenty, because goff211 started Jordan Addison (0.00) and Kyle Pitts (0.00) while Isaiah Likely went for 28.55 and Deebo Samuel went for 17.96 on the bench. Swap those two in and Inner Excellence wins 134.12 to 118.14. This one was decided in the lineup editor on Saturday night.

Champ drops 194.66, the biggest beatdown of the week by 17 points

Josh Allen 38.66, D'Andre Swift 34.15, Olave 28.70, Smith-Njigba 26.45, McBride 25.50. Five guys over 25 and a 73.33-point margin, the widest of week 1. Lack got 31.70 from Ashton Jeanty and it meant absolutely nothing once the Packers defense handed him 2 points and Jayden Daniels watched 17.66 evaporate on the bench. The consolation is that Jayden Reed's 3.50 won him the blackjack pot, so the FAAB is real even if the dignity is not.

Sparkhill wins by 56 with Christian McCaffrey scoring 10.55, which tells you everything about the other guy

AMoldavan put up 65.82, the lowest score in the league by nearly 22 points, and did it while Patrick Mahomes (21.66) and Chuba Hubbard (22.45) sat on the bench behind Sam Darnold's 0.52 and James Cook's 7.90. Those two benched players alone accounted for 67 percent of what his starters produced. Sparkhill needed Trevor Lawrence (26.10) and Jonathan Taylor (24.60) to do all the work while Davante Adams managed 4.35 and Chig Okonkwo managed 3.60, and it never mattered for a second.

Dart 26.60, Christian Watson 33.70, and a starting quarterback who finished below zero

Everything we said would be a problem for Sake Slingerz, Dart under center and the coin-flip flex, delivered instead: Jaxson Dart 26.60, Christian Watson 33.70, Bijan 29.30, Goedert 25.20, 160.24 total with Jaylen Waddle contributing a heroic 0.45. Empire of Rebels got a negative score out of Kyler Murray at minus 0.38, which is hard to do and harder to explain. Sean had also picked Kyler for blackjack before the games, finished last among the non-busted entries and lost FAAB, completing the rare sweep of losing to a team, a card game and a quarterback in the same afternoon.