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Spark's bench lost to Nubz by 0.68. His bench.

Spark's bench scored 62.11 this week. That's the fourteen guys he looked at Saturday night and said nah. Nubz, your starting lineup made 62.79. You beat Spark's scraps by 0.68, and you needed Brock Purdy and a Tyler Higbee game to do it, because your superflex quarterback finished below zero. The guys Spark actually started beat you by 99. He's got no FAAB, he's not awake, he's not fixing anything, and the bench he can't afford to touch is a coin flip from being better than your whole team.

Sean's best week of the year loses to Ryan's average week

Sean, 144.99 is the best Sunday you've had all year. Ryan's average is 161. Your season high loses to a regular Ryan week, and this wasn't a regular Ryan week. He started the Cowboys defense for one point with the Jets sitting on his bench at 15, so he gave points away on purpose and still beat you by 50. Five of his starters cleared 22. The deer finally got up off the road and ran, and the truck sped up. You brought your best shit and it was the undercard.

Two Watsons and two Wilsons beat goff's whole supporting cast

Brendan started two Watsons and two Wilsons this week, which is what happens when you lose your glasses at the draft and keep clicking the same name. The four of them put up 75. goff, pull Jaylen Warren and Isaiah Likely out of your lineup and your other eight starters made 62.85. Brendan's name-twins outscored your entire supporting cast, and that's with one Wilson handing him 5. You had the best player in the game and lost by 27 because the rest of the roster is a rounding error. Love Hurts. The supporting cast hurts worse.

Adam owns six quarterbacks and Stafford outscored the two he picked

Adam owns six quarterbacks. Six. In a league where you start two. He picked Darnold and Cousins and they gave him 22 combined. Matthew Stafford gave mlev 28 by himself. One guy, one slot, beat Adam's entire quarterback department. Three of the six scored exactly zero from the bench, so they're not even depth, they're decor. Four guys on your bench throw footballs, Adam, and none of them can. mlev won this game at the one position you collect like a kid with a binder.

Lack's score has climbed four straight weeks. go0 drew week five.

Lack since week 2: 75, 103, 148, 208. Every week bigger than the last, every jump bigger than the one before. go0, you did nothing wrong. Gibbs went off, Burrow was fine, it was a normal go0 week right on your average. You just drew the Sunday the graph went vertical. Lack's three tight ends alone scored 60 and the margin was 59, so the position everyone laughs at him for was the whole ballgame. At this pace week 6 needs a bigger scoreboard, and somebody else gets to stand in front of it.

Rob benched two defenses that scored 7 and lost by 0.34

Rob rosters three defenses. Three. The Lions scored 7 on his bench. The Bucs scored 7 on his bench. He started the Bears and the Bears scored 1. He lost by 0.34. Rob, either unit you sat wins this game by five, and you went and found the one that didn't. The winning move was sitting on your own bench twice over. Your best player was Aaron Rodgers. That's where you are. Juice, your best player was a Goff, which is more than goff showed up for.